Updated for 2016
What are people saying about your vacation home when they walk into it? Better yet, what are they thinking when they DON’T book it after looking at the pictures online? I have a pretty good idea of what is going through their minds and I feel that I owe it to my readers to share it with you so you can avoid the mistake. If you want to double your bookings this year then here is what your home should NOT look like!
These are real pictures from real Orlando vacation rentals.
Floral couches with matching carpet. This house looks like my Dad’s outfit when we went on a family trip to Hawaii in 1987. Oh wait, that IS his outfit from 1987. . . my bad. I thought this was someone’s vacation rental. Sorry.
Do you like math? Me either so here is a SIMPLE equation for this ensemble:
White walls + off white table / ugly gold light fixture + gold frames with pictures of egrets – broken plastic verticals = NO BOOKINGS!!!!!!
When you dream of Genie but even Barbara Eden wouldn’t even have those lamps in her home. And my OCD is twitching just looking at that crooked photo. NEXT.
The angry, naked birds called, they would like their feathers back, please call PETA immediately. There’s just so much here that shouldn’t be happening in an entire home, let alone one room.
After a long flight on a plane to get to my dream vacation I was so excited when I opened the door and realized that I just died and went to tchotchke HELL! Definitely going to book it again next year. . . definitely.
One of the coolest things about this is that the shower curtain doubles as an optical illusion. Let me know when you figure out what it is. . .
If you stare long enough it even looks like magical, pink butterflies are coming to take all of your bookings away!
These beds look about as uncomfortable as poor Nemo does crammed in that corner. Not something I want to be sleeping on after walking in a theme park for 10 hours.
This home happens to be one of the Easter Bunny’s favorite places to stay when he comes to Disney. Free Peeps for everyone!
Kids, please do not fight over the mismatched dish towels! You can take turns with the clean one.
When you don’t know if you should be in an office working or at a dining room table eating so you just use office chairs in case.
It doesn’t have a game room BUT the garage door does double as a giant magnetic checker board. . . or is that Tetris?
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