How NOT To Furnish Your Orlando Vacation Home If You Want Bookings

What are people saying about your vacation home when they walk into it? Better yet, what are they thinking when they DON’T book it after looking at the pictures online? I have a pretty good idea of what is going through their minds and I feel that I owe it to my readers to share it with you so you can avoid the mistake.  If you want to double your bookings this year then here is what your home should NOT look like! These are real pictures from real Orlando vacation villas.

Floral Upholstery with matching carpet and pictures is NEVER okay! Stick this furniture on Craigslist immediately! People do not like outdated homes, especially when on holiday.

Here is a simple equation for this ensemble:
White walls + off white table / ugly gold light fixture + gold frames with pictures of egrets – broken plastic verticals = NO BOOKINGS!!!!!!

I have a feeling Barbara Eden would not appreciate the use of those lamps as furniture and your guests certainly will not appreciate this room. . .  NEXT!

The angry, naked birds called, they would like their feathers back. . .

After a long flight on a plane to get to my dream holiday I was so excited when I opened the door and realized that I just died and went to NIK-NACK HELL! Definitely going to book it again next year. . . definitely.

One of the coolest things about this is that the shower curtain doubles as an optical illusion.  Let me know when you figure out what it is. . .

I personally think the peach sponge paint ads a touch of class to the hanging broom on the window BUT probably not your best photo to be posting on vacation home sites.  Just a thought.

One of my favorite parts of a vacation is soaking in the huge roman tub covered in fluorescent chachkis and lace window treatments. . .   if you stare long enough it even looks like magical, pink butterflies are coming to take all of your bookings away!

I don’t know about you but these beds look about as uncomfortable as poor Nemo does crammed in that corner.  Not something I would look forward to sleeping on after walking in a theme park for 10 hours but then again us locals just like to complain.

This home happens to be one of the Easter Bunny’s favorite places to stay when he comes to Disney.  He especially loves how the fake flowers match the wall and plastic place mats.

Kids, please do not fight over the mismatched dish towels!  You can take turns with the clean one.

One of the nicest features of still having linoleum flooring in your vacation home is that the rolling chairs don’t go bump-bump-bump like they do on the tile.  It makes for a more enjoyable breakfast in the outdated eat in kitchen.

It doesn’t have a gamesroom BUT the garage door does double as a giant magnetic checker board. . . Checkmate.